1. FIRST MEET WITH HER (someone)

Time:                      Then I was at class 9 in one of our local school.


My home is 5 minute away from my school. I was a regular student. When I start to go to school, at first A madrasa(a college for Islamic instruction.) is in-front of our gate. Then a girls high school after 2 minute left. then our institution. Everyday, I had to meet to these institutions for two times. I passed several classes but nothing happened yet. At class 9, I decided to have a privet tutor for my higher mathematics, physics and chemistry study. I also managed it with one of our school's teacher. He alone will service these all subjects. My school time is 10 am to 4 pm without Thursday. Friday is holiday. I went to my tutor at 7 am. That is why I had to rise early in the morning. but I was always late. I had to go to his house which is 3 minute away from my school and 8 minute away from my home. Actually, it was only a street road where one by one comes after. My tutor's home is at last of this road. There I was not alone. there were maximum students of my science class. Actually, that home is not only for this tutor. there were more other tutors also. Most of them are from our school.

The girls from Girls High School also went there for privet tutor. Teachers of our school are better than teachers. That is why, maximum girls also came to our school's teachers for privet tutor. We were studied there in a Bach or like a group. Everything were running fine.

Main Story: One day I felt weak in my English too. One of my friend is also felt like me. That is why, we decided to join in a English Bach or group too. We found a famous English teacher beside that teacher where we already started. So, we wanted to join there. We also talked to the teacher and assured to join from the next day. time is 8 am to 9 am. So next day I came to that English privet after finishing science privet class. In the English class, something had happened to me. I was totally shocked seeing a girl. This girl is not describable for her beauty to me. But I will try to do this useless work for my audience.

I will start from her most beautiful part of his face. This is her eyes. Yes. her eyes. I am one of her fan for her eyes. I don't know, yet she knows it or not. But it is true. Only her eyes can make someone freaked. May be my status was also like that. But I was soundless. Then I noticed that she has more other part in her face which also may be attracted. Her nose. An unique particle. Her leaps. May be naturally pink colored. I don't know. Above all, her skin color. perhaps, it is also an unique particle created by God or Allah. There is no spot, no make up. Just normally. It's normal. totally normal. But looking so pretty. Pretty Good. Actually it's useless to describe her. I think only herself is an unique example of her. I was totally crusted seeing her.

Then I started to think myself as a useless human. I had a little doubt. If the girl is my senior than me. Yet I don't know, which class does she read. After a few time , I discovered that the girl was reading a book like my text book. That means the girl is my class met. It made me a little bit happy. After few time, I started to think so negative. If the girl is engaged with someone. Then my whole dream will go to real dream. After seeing that girl I discovered some changes to me. Every time I thought about that girl. If I meet that girl, will it be right or wrong. I didn't know. My family is a conservative family and I am only one son of this family. So a lot of expectation above me. If I continue this job, will it be right or not. I didn't know.

Again, I became mad only for that beauty of that girl. If somehow, by an accident, she lost her beauty. Then what will I do. What will I find on her. I also didn't find the answer of this question. But something was happening to me. I will call that that was my emotion. I couldn't control this at all. At that time I wanted to be a superman, spider-man, bat-man to impress her. It was just a fiction to me.

I saw her but I didn't let her to know that I was seeing her. May be my success rate was very little. Perhaps, She could understand that I was seeing her. But I didn't let my mind to understand that she tracked me and myself. I couldn't miss even a single chance to see her. I was so greedy to see her for a single sight.Thus time was going on.


The hesitation is working

Time:        After the first post.

Story:       Thus my time was passing parallely  with my new feelings, emotion and study. One day I understand that that girl also notice that if I follow her. But I was not such as a guy that I will follow someone. It will attack to my personality. That is why, I could not do it at all. Thus time was going and I was seeing her from behind without letting her to know that. Gradually a weakness started to work inside me for that girl. Then I was totally scared, what should I do then.? I can't understand even I can't think about that. My whole attention grepped that girl without any excuse.

     After a few days a cultural program organised in one of our local college by the previous senior students of our school. We all students were invited there. That is why I went there and sew her again in that occasion having a chair at the third row . As I went there lately, I didn't get any chair. So I had to stand beside the main space. there were a lot of crowed. Everyone was seeing the performance at the stage but only I was seeing that girl hiding me. But I noticed unfortunately that she found me at the crowed. I was seeing her when she was not seeing me. And I also noticed that she was seeing me when I was not seeing her. When it happened that we two were seeing at time then a race began to start who can put out his or her sight. After a few time I changed my place. I took position at the last row of that crowed. Then I again seeing her from her behind. But she is not seeing me. That's the fact.

   Our SSC exam was knocking at the door. we all were busy to study.

These were happening to me. But I didn't share with any single person about my emotion. By the way, I knew her name also. I will say it at last.

After a few days latter one of my friends told me that someone likes me. That girl was the friend of that girl for whom I was weak. The girl was not so beautiful. But I didn't care anyone.

After a few days some of my friend told me about a social communication system. That was "robi circle."  I opened a account there as "mas8080. " My friends shared my id with their friends. Thus that girl who liked me got my id. A few days later, I got a request. I also add her.

By the time we passed SSC level. I got GPA 4.75 and admitted to Narsingdi Govt. College. My dream girl also admitted one of the famous college in Narsingdi. There I was alone in my room and also felt lonely. At my lonely time that girl who liked me, knocked me and we started a conversation.

     I had no intention to communicate with her. I communicated with that girl only to get the information about her friend. But my attempt was useless. Then I understand that their friendship isn't so strong that he can help me. Again I also didn't let her to know about my emotion and expectation to her. Even she yet don't know why I communicated her, called her, and passed time with her. 

     Yes. obviously she will know that. Because I don't want to be guilt for that. Because she helped me. She helped me to know about that girl. Yet, I didn't know anything about my dream girl. She told me just a single sentence about that girl which made me free. That sentence was "She was in a relationship with someone." I couldn't believe that. Than I started to teach my mind that every one is misstating with me.

    To know more clearly, I shared it with one of my girl-friend. She is my one of my friend. Just friend. Not anything else. she decided to help me to get the truth. I gave my friend my dream girl's phone number which I had stolen when I was at class ten. But yet I didn't call her even for a single time.

   Having the number my friend made that girl her friend. They started to talk and she would tell me what they talk about. My friend also gave me the same information that she was in a relationship with some one. For very long time. My friend suggested me to forget that dream girl. Again I am telling my mind that she is also  misstating.

     By the time my HSC exam is also completed. I obtain GPA 4.67 in this exam and went to Dhaka, Firmgate to admission coaching. I stayed here for 4 month. One day my friend fixed to meet with that dream girl, her friend. Time was 10 am. That girl also came to firm-gate for admission coaching. I knew that information by some of my friends. But where she lived, I didn't know. Even I didn't try to know that. My friend will come to Firm-gate to meet with her. she also called me to receive her. By the time I came to receive her and noticed that that dream girl is with my friend. That means they introduced before my arrive.

      My friend just asked me if I knew her. I replied an odd answer. Yeah. I know only her face. Not more than. That's it. Then I went away to my hostel and they went to their hostel. After finishing their meeting, my friend met me again and told something about that dream girl which changed my decision.
     She told me what she said. That dream girl is very pride for her beauty. Many boys are hanker after to make a relationship with her. She is bored ignoring these boys. she doesn't care these boys. And a lot about her self-esteem which is not also describable. Again she is only one girl of her parents. Before I didn't know that. Her boyfriend loves her very much and she also. Their relationship is for a long time. 

     After that time I understand that it is true. And 100% true. But it changed my things about that dream girl. I understand that this girl is not that girl mentally which I called as my dream girl. She has just a nice look like my dream girl. But everything is empty. Her thoughts, mentality, pride and her beauty than goes to against my dream girl. For example, I didn't thought that my dream girl will has so pride for her beauty. But she has.

      I thought that my dream girl will have a fresh mentality. But she hasn't.  These scared me and changed my decision but gave me a lot of experience. This dream girl thought me how to continue working having a target. When I was at class 9 then this girl changed me. I had lost my consonance in my study after having a bad result in in JSC(Class 8 final examination). But only for that girl I started to study again to show up myself. I achieved my consonance again. I also had improved in my examination. Achieved a better result. Also did well in my test exam. But finally I couldn't continue this. Because, after test exam, for a long time I could not see her. Thus I lost my target and It's worked bad effect in my final exam.

     Thus she changed me and myself. But now I don't go forward for that girl. Now I keep going forward for that people who loves me. Who prays for me. This is my family. Now I don't think about that girl because she is not my dream girl. She underestimates my dream girl. Now I'll live only for my family.

        I decided that I will never meet with that girl who is like my dream girl. If I meet with her, it will be a sham for my dream girl. This girl don't have the ability to be my dream girl. She lost her ability.

     To be continued....................................................|